akailolita:

mpreg sounds like a file extension 


tyrongtyger:

awwww-cute:

Lost a $10 bill last night and couldn’t find I for the life of me. Until little Ava came out of hiding, that is

Khajiit has quick fingers.

tyrongtyger:

awwww-cute:

Lost a $10 bill last night and couldn’t find I for the life of me. Until little Ava came out of hiding, that is

Khajiit has quick fingers.




connorkawaii:

baby: t-t-t-t… t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-…T-T-T-T-T-T-T

mother: tia? aw baby girl are you trying to say your own name, tia? :)

baby: Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable!To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you. Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!



kenerics:

who the fuck is snapchatting in the serenghetti


lindsaylohoean:

i failed at raising a tamagotchi how the fuck am i supposed to raise a child


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